Holding On or Letting Go?
A personal reflection on clutter, memory, and making space
“Less is more.”
“Does it bring you joy?”
“Do you use it—or have you just been storing it for years?”
These are just a few of the questions worth asking when clutter begins to feel overwhelming. It's not just about organization—it’s about creating space for calm, clarity, and intention. It's not that my house is messy, but I just keep a lot of stuff I no longer want or need.
For example, the birds in the first photo were my moms. I have them on display on my firelplace mantle- I don't even like them.
Having less can make daily life feel lighter. Fewer items mean less to clean, manage, and worry about. With less clutter, our surroundings become more peaceful, and so does our state of mind.
I used to use this teapot for flowers ; now it just sits in the basement |
This cookbook has hundreds of recipes |
Take, for example, two of my mother’s old large cookbooks from the 1950s. I’ve held onto them for years. I’m vegan, and the recipes inside—meatloaf, casseroles, gelatin molds—aren’t meals I would ever cook. Still, they sit taking up room on a shelf for years. I kept them for nostalgia, for connection, for the comfort of memory. But lately I’ve been asking myself: Will I ever use these? Will anyone in my family want them? Would I miss them if they were gone?
What are we really holding onto when we hold onto things from the past?
I hold onto clothes that I hardly ever wear. Costume jewelry from another era- Books I’ve already read—or never will. Old music records from the 1950's and ‘60s that I no longer have a record player to play them on. Items that were shower and wedding gifts from 53 years ago that I never liked or want, extra sets of silverware that I don't use, too many sets of dishes, lots of my mother's crystal including her service for 16 crystal stemware of al sizes (water, wine, whiskey, cordials) that I never use or used -all sentiment; they sit in drawers, on shelves, in display cases and packed away in the basement.
Why is it so difficult to let go?
There are psychological roots to this, of course. Objects often hold emotional meaning. They connect us to people, to moments, to who we once were—or who we hoped to be. Letting go can feel like a loss, or even like erasing part of our identity or history. But sometimes, holding on creates more weight than comfort.
My parents lived through the Depression. They valued keeping things—just in case. Their home was filled with collections and curiosities. I remember being sixteen and asking my mother if I could de-clutter the living room shelves. She agreed—but told me not to throw anything away -just store it. When I was done, I thought the room looked serene and beautiful. But when my father came home, he looked around and asked, “Has the Depression hit again? What happened to all our stuff?” I told him I was just decluttering. His response? “Put it all back— I don’t want to live in a poor house.”
Their perspective shaped mine. And now, I’m slowly learning to reshape it.
So, I ask you—as I ask myself:
What are you holding on to that no longer serves you?
Are there items that you are keeping out of guilt, habit, or nostalgia?
What might it feel like to let them go?
Could clearing space actually bring a sense of relief—or even freedom?
Decluttering isn't just about things. It's about choosing what you carry forward, and what you're ready to release.
Maybe it's time!! How about you? What are you holding onto?
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Now back to recipes. What's for dinner tonight?: I'm making this simple delicious salad of rice, tomatoes, sesame seeds, chickpeas etc. Very simple and very tasty. Don't eat rice? Use quinoa or for a low carb recipe use cauliflower rice.
Recipe: Rice, Tomato, Avocado Salad (link to recipe)
Judee, so well said! I have things of my mother's as well. I knew they are not my style when I accepted them. I have them on display in various spots in my home and more in my canning kitchen in the shop. But as I come to terms with not only my mother, how I miss her and the life she taught me, I am taking them down, and letting them go. Some to charity if usable, but most disposed of as I put the memory away in their place. Have a beautiful week, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThis is a thought-provoking post. I have sometimes thrown out things that I later regretted parting with, but there is an awful lot of stuff that's never used and that my children and grandchildren will probably never appreciate. On the other hand, maybe one day someone will ask me about something and I'll be able to produce it . . . . eventually . . . and make them happy.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed during my semi annual sweeps through everything that I've slowly been getting rid of more and more stuff that you mentioned. Those items that I don't use but carry some form of nostalgia. It is hard sometimes but I haven't yet gotten rid of anything that I regret.
ReplyDeleteI'm at the age and mindset that I only want to have in my home items that are useful and that I love. Just because we have the space to store things doesn't mean we really need them .
The recipe looks really good.
I am pretty ruthless about getting rid of clutter and things... but it is definitely getting harder as the boys get older and I don't feel I have the right to clear out their things anymore (like I used to when they were little-- nap time was the best time to clean out [though I always made sure to tuck those things away in a closet or out of sight for at least a few weeks to make sure I wasn't get rid of something they genuinely enjoyed or wanted]).
ReplyDeleteI really need to learn to declutter...like you, I hold on clothes and cookbooks. Need to get rid of some of them.
ReplyDeleteAh, a topic that is touchy in my life. I have too much -- that I know. In fact, one of the best things that ever happened to me was having mold in my basement and having to throw out so many things (or donate things not damage but ready to go.) THe upstairs is harder. I like those things. I do have sentimental feelings and I actually use and rotate many of the things. A word on your cookbooks. Hold onto them for your kids. No kids want anything till they are 50. They're too busy wanting what they want. My mother had her grandfather's recipe book (I must blog about this someday -- it's fascinating). It was in pieces. But to me, it meant something -- a man I never knew but my history in the way-back machine. So, a couple of years ago I had it bound. It's a treasure and will one day go to the cousin who will appreciate it most and on. Mom died when I was 25. While she was in the hospital she said, "Hang onto my cut glass. If you don't like it or use it by the time you are 40, you probably won't and let it go." I don't use it every day but I use it often -- as serving dishes, vases, bowls filled with holiday balls. I'm so glad I listened to her.
ReplyDeleteI hold on to nothing. Gifts I don't like or need are quickly dispatched and donated. Dave is not as ruthless as I am and he's held on to some family things for sentiment.
ReplyDeleteTandy (Lavender and Lime) https://tandysinclair.com
Great questions. I for one am terribly sentimental. I am not at all good at letting go, but I get away with it because I am tidy. I know where every items in our home came from. My hubbie, on the other hand, doesn't want any more stuff and took just one item when his parents home was cleared out.
ReplyDeleteI too have trouble parting with never used 'treasures'. Your blog is inspirational and thought provoking! Keep blogging and updating us on your journey.
ReplyDeleteWe purge now and then, probably not often enough, but I like my “stuff”! My daughter, ever practical, tells me to keep enjoying it and that’s she’ll get rid of when I am gone. She says, “If I send it all to the dump, Dad, you won’t care, because you’ll be dead and you’ll never know!”
ReplyDeleteLove a good declutter. Good on ya!
ReplyDeleteWe must be on the same wavelength, because I've recently started reorganizing my "closet", which is a whole room. And I'm astonished by the some of the stuff I found in there! Although there were some good "finds" that I'd forgotten about, I've also been tossing and donating lots of other things. And you're right. It's hard at first, because it feels like you're giving up a part of yourself, but as you go it gets easier, and you realize you didn't want those parts anyway. That said, I enjoyed reading about your experiences, especially the part where teenage you decluttered your family's living room. Our families -- and their experiences -- really do shape so much of who we are. 😁🌈
ReplyDelete